I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
