oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i wish my penis had a tongue
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Randomize
