hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
