my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
