Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
