do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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