Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I don't want my vagina anymore.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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