You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Randomize
