i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Randomize
