The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
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i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
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Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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