Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
