Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
