you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
what the fuck happened to the tacos
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
