Moan for me like Helen Keller
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
