marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
