maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Randomize
