but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
