Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
