she was so not down for the gang bang
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
