I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
