Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
two words: eviction party
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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