belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
They should really pass out barf bags in church
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
