So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
So squirting runs in the family.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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