"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
