Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Randomize