Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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