Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Banned from zoo.
Again?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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