I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Randomize
