just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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