Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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