Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Still dying that you shit outside
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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