oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize