I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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