South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
My bed smells like the plague
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
