Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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