Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
