uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
