going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
