Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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