is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life