I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
