fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n