dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.