where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?