She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed