I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
23 People Have Step Parents That Are Younger Than Them
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina