seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Is it because I queefed?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Randomize
