What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I party with great urgency now.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
