talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
