Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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