You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize