Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize