Don't you send me to vm
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
