Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
