this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
