Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I checked into jail on foursquare
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
false alarm, still single
Randomize
