if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
