That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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