when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
