i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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