You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
