Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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