i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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