Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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