erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize
