wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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